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It was a good idea at the time

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What Really Grinds my Gears: Catfishing

Updated: Mar 23

You know what really grinds my gears? Catfishing Profiles Dating in any age or Decade comes with some challenges. The nervousness, awkwardness. Dating in the 21st century is hard enough. Profile Pics, Bios swiping and deciding the perfect date when we know fully that a douche named Chaz and girl named Tiffany with the best Instagram filter and a few lottery “traits from mother nature” will get a swipe to the right while us mere mortals will get tossed in the trashcan of left swiping. The sheer desperation of being accepted will turn of your brain. A pretty girl, a model type. She finds your lame jokes really funny. She may send a suggestive photo. Well keep your thirst in check because she may be a catfish. What is a catfish? Well the top brass at Urbandictionary.com eloquently put it as “A fake or stolen identity created or used for the purposes of beginning a deceptive relationship”. That extends to dating websites or apps making this way more serios and by far infuriating. What is the point? To the catfisher……….. who knows really, there are multiple motives at play here. Easiest one and most common and understood, abate potentially most damaging, is a financial scam. Conwoman or Conman (yes, a guy can pretend to be the girl) fakes a scheme where sending sums of money is really necessary at this very moment. In worst case scenarios it may be a deranged person and you potentially can become a victim so if something feels off do not continue to talk to this person.




Signs

  • Pictures are either missing, sparse, of someone else or entirely not there.

  • They will avoid all forms of contact outside of messaging apps or outside websites or e-mail. Rarely they will talk on the phone with you. They will never want to meet with you, sighting safety being out of town. They also outright refuse a Video call. Exception to the rule is if they want to immediately meet with you away from people or at their own home. Those psychos you really want to bloc sooner rather than later.

  • Social Media Page or Dating Profile is basic, all it has is maybe one picture one word or link to an outside profile, or website if anything at all.

  • They will advance the “relationship”, I use that term loosely, to the hyperspace and beyond in 2 seconds flat. The jokes you make will be phenomenal, you will feel like the most handsome man in the world. The person will come on strong. That will be a hint you may be catfished. If you feel you have chemistry see about a Video Call or Meet somewhere in public, preferably outside and six feet apart in the current environment. If they won’t entertain anything or suggest a feasible alternative your Spidey sense should be tingling, and your distrust level should reach at least 85%. What will put It at a 100% is below. They will ask for Money. Beside great novels they could write on why they can’t see you; they will be surprisingly creative with reasons why the need money. They will appeal either to you heart or your lower regions where heart pumps the blood. Key yarns they will spin I need money because:

  • I’m short for my babysitter and she doesn’t do “I owe yous” . Really? Babysitters have a demeanor of a drug dealer now?

  • I am stuck in a foreign country my handbag got stolen and I need money to get back. So no family or close friends so you contact a person just got introduced to?

  • I want to meet you but you must sign up to this paid website so I can verify you because I do not want to be assaulted. [Sigh] Wolf in sheep’s clothing as it tries to dress a seemingly relatable reason to get you to give up your information. Too many moronic reasons to list. Insist on a public place during day light giving them an out if vibes are bad. If they won’t then you won’t and slap that block button.



Ultimately be weary in what you share to whom you share and how. You should never give anybody money like that if you have not met them before. Even if it is not money but a rogue account registration. Potentially you just gave away sensitive information and whomever owns it can clean you out use you or your identity for scams. All in all, be careful, it is a jungle out there.

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